Soul Relationships: Good, Bad, and Ugly Doesn't Equal to Lifelong Happiness.

50+ Reasons Why Relationships Fail & 50 Things to Make it Healthy!

Why Relationships Tend to Fail:

1)  Communication
2)  Jealousy
3)  Attachment
4)  Domination over the other
5)  Selfishness
6)  No time (for each other)
7)  Having unhealthy privacy boundaries
8)  Pointing out faults
9)  Commenting about your relationship online
10) Intrusive friends
11) One-sided expectations
12) Objective family members
13) Not enough similar interests
14) Lack of respect
15) Loving others more
16) Avoiding the truth
17) Sexual thoughts for someone else
18) Distance (extensive and on purpose)
19) Fighting over parenting skills
20) MONEY MONEY MONEY!
21) Ex's in the Way
22) Not paying enough attention
23) Hanging with friends, rather than yourselves
24) Lack of true friendship
25) Being into yourself
26) Being interesting
27) Denial
28) Trying to change the other
29) Going to bed angry
30) Incompatibility
31) Goals growing further apart
32) Faded chemistry
33) Sexual tension
34) Planning a sex day just because
35) Going on different paths
36) Moving in, finding out their mannerisms
37) Toilet seat up, or down?
38) Following one person's dream, not both
39) Blaming your partner
40) Forcing change
41) Not accepting them for WHO they are
42) Rushing things too quickly
43) Flirting with others in person
44) Hiding that you masturbate
45) Staying for the wrong reasons
46) Not actually happy, in denial
47) Not being honest with yourself
48) Growing apart one day at a time
49) Lying about being in love
50) CHEATING!!!

51 Extra) Abuse
52 Extra) Mental or physical abuse
53 Extra) Making the partner feel low through painful words
54 Extra) Feeding off the partners emotional strains
55 Extra) Denying one is happy when they aren't!

There are so many things why people falsely hang onto one another. If you can related to more than 10, or even 20 of the above mentioned relationship breakers, you might be in denial about being truthful to yourself, and are probably not happy. Your insecurities are getting the best of yourself. I know people who can relate to 20-30 or more of the above mentioned detrimental hick-ups, and believe me, they AREN'T really happy, they are holding onto the fact that they are afraid to change, afraid to step out on their own, be their own person once again.

Cheer up, there's hope for you after all. Below I will mention things that will change everything around in your life, but it won't come without; sacrifice, determination, belief and a great deal of effort from the both of you.

How to Have Healthy Relationships:

1)   You deserve to be happy
2)   You deserve to be happy
3)   You deserve to be loved
4)   You deserve to be respected
5)   Your loved one should honor your beliefs
6)   Your loved one should respect your wishes
7)   NEVER go to bed angry
8)   NEVER let the other own you
9)   NEVER let the other degrade you in front of others
10) Please don't fight near children
11) Couples counseling isn't for aliens
12) You CANNOT make people change, they have to want to
13) Both of you write a list of things that make you unhappy (be honest, but not attacking)
14) Never talk about things you don't like about each other, only things that aren't helping
15) Talk about things that make you happy in life
16) Be SPONTANEOUS!
17) Don't point out things that you know which will set the other off on purpose
18) NEVER abuse the others emotions
19) NEVER let the other abuse your emotions
20) Know when to call it quits, happiness shouldn't be won over
21) Become their friend first, not just their lover, friends should always love each other
22) Best friends never fall apart, fake relationships do
23) Have a healthy friendhip circle to vent and speak to when needed
24) Don't let your friends pick your significant other apart
25) Remind friends they don't have a right to butt in, only when asked
26) Moving in together is NOT always the answer (careful what you wish for)
27) Marriage won't make things better, loving each other will
28) Don't hide your intentions and plans for change, it doesn't work
29) Find ways to show how much they mean to you
30) Go away together camping, alone in nature together (can be a day trip, picnic)
31) Busy lifestyle? Find time to slow it down once a week
32) Make healthy first dates all the time
33) Take a road trip, pin the donkey on a map
34) Don't fake it, be real with each other
35) If you have sexual fantasies of someone else, don't string your partner along
36) Sex isn't all that? Get creative, role play, do something that makes your heart race
37) Write little letters in each other's lunch bags of love and having a great day
38) Protect each other, not make fun of each other's faults in public venues
39) Friends don't need convincing. If so, then you do as well (not good)
40) Family is family; your relationship is yours, not theirs
41) Kids are wonderful, but not if you're unhappy together, show them love, not denial
42) Go do something you both fear, that experience will bond you both together
43) Have healthy friendships outside of your partnership, respect them as well
44) Encourage each other's dreams; each of you should have them
45) Don't plan intimacy, surprise each other with moments of affection
46) Don't hide behind the truth, be truthful to each other, no matter the outcome
47) When in doubt, start over; introduce each other for the 2nd time
48) Over time people change, embrace new changes, support their changes
49) Arguments are healthy, release the anger, have make-up sex, go to bed happy
50) Love each other for each other's faults, embrace them, they're yours to love :)

I could probably write about 50 things to help with your relationship with your partner. Bottom line is, we all know if we are happy or not, don't deny it for the sake of not being alone. A person faking the funk is worse off than couples who have certain problems but are working towards overcoming those small bends in life.

Don't be afraid to tell the truth, a lie never dies and never wins the person's heart. The more you deny these 100+ things good or bad, the more people will notice, and in time it might be too late to reverse the emotional effect on the relationship. Nip the negatives in the butt early on, build on that, use that hurdle to become stronger, more loving to each other.

I'm not going to fluff it up for you, relationships are among the hardest things in life to make work, but when they do, they also become the best thing in life at the same time.

Don't be afraid to ask for outside help, but always do it as a couple. One-sided spiritual relationship guidance is only helping 50% of the underlining problems; the other 50% is in the dark and isn't changing with you on their own free will.

I hope this helps both of you to find happiness which as you know by now, comes in all; shapes, sizes, races, colours, faiths, and especially in friendships first.

If you have comments, suggestions or questions, please do so below.

Namaste!
Martin R. Lemieux